Mental health update

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I'm ever thankful for this man. Today was a roller coaster, I had a huge emotional breakdown this morning and sobbed for half an hour on his chest. He held me tightly and told me everything would be ok. I so long to believe him, it's incredibly hard to hold unto hope lately. I rarely feel like myself, I'm just a shell of the woman I used to be, I don't recognize myself lately, (mentally). Depression changes you, your brain/functioning is so different, it makes it so hard to do every day things. I was diagnosed with "agoraphobia" ( https://www.mayoclinic.org/…/a…/symptoms-causes/syc-20355987 ) It's a real disorder that makes doing anything outside the house difficult. We spent the entire day together, laughed, snuggled, talked, went to the coffee shop and dreamed of future house projects. I needed today more then anything, I needed his arms around me and the hope he whispered in my ear. I love him so much it hurts. He's my rock, especially with my depression being so terrible lately. I'm so drained, i'm exhausted physically, and especially mentally.
Chris has been here for me a billion percent, every single step, he doesn't understand me, but he loves me so much through my most difficult days of our marriage. I love him more every single day, especially seeing how much he adores me and longs for me to feel better. If you can continue to pray for me, and for us, I may have a lead of a psychiatrist (prayers up for that too) I'm hoping medication can help me start to function normally again, and maybe feel some kind of happiness even if it will never exactly be what it was.
baby, thank you for everything you do for me, thank you for talking care of my very need, and loving me so unconditionally.





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