Walking Through The Storms Of Life

I'm ever thankful for this man. Today was a roller coaster, I had a huge emotional breakdown this morning and sobbed for half an hour on his chest. He held me tightly and told me everything would be ok. I so long to believe him, it's incredibly hard to hold unto hope lately. I rarely feel like myself, I'm just a shell of the woman I used to be, I don't recognize myself lately, (mentally). Depression changes you, your brain/functioning is so different, it makes it so hard to d o every day things. I was diagnosed with "agoraphobia" (  https://www.mayoclinic.org/…/a…/symptoms-causes/syc-20355987  ) It's a real disorder that makes doing anything outside the house difficult. We spent the entire day together, laughed, snuggled, talked, went to the coffee shop and dreamed of future house projects. I needed today more then anything, I needed his arms around me and the hope he whispered in my ear. I love him so much it hurts. He's my rock, especially with my de...

Lets talk about depression. It's such a taboo subject (sadly) especially within the Christian community. People have a wide range of what they think depression is, or does, or doesn't do, they judge you for who you are, how you act, or that you tend to "overreact" on simple everyday things. Most everyone has an opinion, and supposedly it's their right as a human to do so. In all cases I have dealt with, the person judging, or "fixing" has never experienced actual depression diagnosed by a Doctor or Psychologist. I find it beyond frustrating when people say, I struggle with anxiety, speaking in crowds, I don't like being around people, It's the "same" thing as you. I just want to scream at them, I agree most people in the world have experienced a form or depression and anxiety, but that's One hundred percent NOT the same as having been diagnosed with real, actual disorders that effect how you live your life, what you do, who you hang...

I've decided to make a new blog, a new place where I can be honest about Infertility, Depression, Anxiety and the struggles I deal with on a daily basis. As well as the happy things in life, my Marriage, my Dog, Daily inspiration and Hope. I look forward to starting a new Chapter with a new blog, a new place to make my own and where I can feel safe to be honest. Tomorrow I turn 29 years old and I just can't believe it. The last 8 years have gone by in the blink of an eye, Thanksgiving is around the corner and Christmas in only two months away. My 7th Wedding Anniversary is on February 12th and my beautiful Dog is somehow already 5 and 1/2 years old.  I can't figure out where the last eight years have gone, my last years in my 20s.  The hardest part of these last seven years of marriage has been losing a child (5th anniversary of our miscarriage in the end of November) and dealing with Infertility for the last 5 and a half years. What's crazy is we should have five ...